Cocktail Party Pieces (Perfect Together, Fabulous Alone)

It may be a little on the early side to start penning a Christmas List, but my love of sparkly things has me dreaming of festive cocktail party- worthy attire. As glitter, sequins, jewel- tones and metallics come out in full force for the holiday season, in fashion journals and fall/winter collections alike, I’m finding myself inspired. With this in mind, I’ve compiled a list of some of the most covetable pieces that we’ll be seeing this holiday season. 

 Tuxedo Jacket: A sharply tailored black blazer anchors the wildest of Christmas bling, while a metallic or jewel- toned one is a go- to statement piece that will elevate any ensemble.

Lace: It’s sexy and pretty and adds just the right touch of softness peeking out from under a menswear- inspired blazer.

 Red: Studies have repeatedly found that men are most attracted to women clad in red, but that should come as no to surprise to those of us who’ve already made shades of crimson a part of our regular rotation.  Leave the LBD at home, step out in a red cocktail dress, and conduct your own survey.

Wild Accessories:  Gold python bracelets that snake up the wrist, shoulder- skimming earrings in all types and colours of feathers and gemstones, oversized belts adorned with sequins and glitter, and hosiery in cheetah, paisley, and open lace patterns add the kind of unexpected flare that takes an outfit to the next level.

 

Sequins and Sparkle and Glitter (oh My): Whether adorning a top, be it close fitting or flowing; a dress, whether shift or A- Line… you get the idea. The holiday season gives us an excuse to bust out the sparkly things, and so long as it’s kept to a reasonable limit shine is a must- have element in festive dressing.

J Lo demonstrates the versatility of the look with five very different approaches that take the festive stuff from wearable workwear to nighttime drama.

And…

For the casual family affair: Embellished/ Patterned tights with an oversized cable knit sweater and booties. Simple perfection.

Nice Girls Finish Last; Why it Doesn't Pay to be Polite

I’m not a dumb blonde, I just play one in real life. It’s not something that I do on purpose, it’s just that it’s impossible to voice opinions and contest ideas without the risk of offending. I’m a product of my socialization and, like a majority of women, the compulsion to protect the integrity of my “nice girl” status is foremost in my mind in any social interaction. At my worst, I’m an extreme example of the effects of “nice- girl” socialization, the unfortunate by- product of lessons of social propriety. What this means is that in conversation I measure every exchange, on guard for an indication that I’ve offended, and resultantly come across like I have nothing original, interesting, or, at times, coherent, to say. I feel the irresistible urge to put forth excuses and explanations that aren’t needed when a simple “no” would suffice.

This doesn’t mean that I am truly “nice” in any meaningful sense of the word; not unless it’s “nice” to be ruthless in my appraisal of others (and sometimes nonsensically so), or to be thoroughly vocal about my exacting judgement so long as the offending party is out of ear shot. If someone is deserving, I suppose that talking behind their back is like a surreptitious enactment of retribution. As a “nice girl,” it’s not like I’m going to risk hurt feelings by confronting someone for their perceived indiscretions, but I  find satisfaction in airing my grievances elsewhere.

This is ineffective in social situations, and even more so in professional ones. For one thing, respect is garnered through, among other things, demonstrations of strength, and intelligence. A person with no (discernible) opinions demonstrates neither.

  It’s a process, trying to overcome the tendency to let authenticity take a backseat to congeniality,  but every step I take away from the “nice girl, ” every move I make that is unmediated by the desire not to offend, is a step toward authenticity. It sounds sentimental, but it’s true.  I am not a “nice girl;” I never was, nor was anyone else. She’s an archetype to which no female compares, and trying to live within the constraints of “nice girl” identity serves no real purpose (if you count success at any level among your goals).  

I still find it a struggle to step outside the “nice girl” persona when necessary. She’s my go- to guide for dealing with social situations. The problem is that I’ve found that she doesn’t have any real answers, so I’m starting to look for my own.

Hallowe'en the TMW Way

Only because in the previous post I addressed the comparative merits of a variety of Sexy Hallowe’en costume stylings, here is my interpretation of a ‘Dark Angel.’ It’s not the most creative thing, and if you asked me what a ‘Dark Angel’ is, I probably couldn’t tell you. To be real, you might even call this a re- vamped vampire hooker look (as was previously discussed). Whatever; the dress was hanging in my closet and the feathers were salvaged from an oversized item buried in my ‘top drawer’ that had yet to be used. It was what it was. Here it is.

Note: You know how when you're around other people you sing in a goofy, fake voice, so that you don't feel stupid singing in your real voice? That's me and making a kissy face in pictures. It's only pictured once here, but point a camera in my direction and I can't help myself. Just thought I'd share that.